Waiting On The Sides…

There was this point as an improviser when I no longer concerned myself with being perfect on stage. Not only was it silly to try and be perfect at improvisation but it prevented me from getting better. I was too concerned with what the audience thought of me. I was too concerned with ruining the entire show with the wrong move. Because of this, I couldn’t be fully present with or for my fellow players on stage.

I still remember the night all of that came to an end. There were maybe 50 people in the audience and I was on the sides waiting for a reason to walk on to the stage and join a scene that was taking place. The moment I walked into the scene I felt different than previous moments. It was like I could see the stage and the other players in a different light. Much like Dorthy walking out of her house after the tornado set it down in Oz. I had more energy and my moves were crisp! It felt great. I had more energy because I wasn’t wasting any of it on fear. I was present and I had transitioned from an okay improviser to a pretty good improviser.

Improv is something I hope to continue doing for a very long time and within that time I hope to transition from a pretty good improviser to a pretty great improviser. I try to remember that moment on the side of that stage when I feel stuck or when I am particularly scared of trying something that I know I can do.

Imposter syndrome is very real and very immobilizing. I encourage anyone experiencing self doubts to remember a time when you felt yourself grow, to remember a time when you expanded past what you thought was possible and that might be all it takes for you to get unstuck.